Kinematoscope

A look at the taglines for this week's major releases. How do studios try to hook us when they only have a sentence?

Actual tagline: When Our World Ended, Their Mission Began

Not a terrible offering from 9, which comes out today to capitalize on 09-09-09. There are actually mini-taglines on subsequent posters that explain what the mission of each rag doll is, "to defend us," "to define us," and so on.



Actual tagline: Sisters for life... and death.

Aw yeah, that's the stuff. I think the font on that tag should really sell the ironic punnery, like: Sisters for life.... AND DEATH!!!!!.



Actual tagline: Hope is closer than you think.

I feel like these film's should just be called Tyler Perry's Latest Film, Featuring Tyler Perry: A Tyler Perry Film. The design of the poster seems to be trying to tell me that, despite the presence of Perry's signature Madea character, this will be a serious ensemble drama.

Thus the tag is a seemingly maudlin inspirational message (or, if you're a cynic, a bit of Obama-based marketing synergy!).



Actual tagline: See Your Last Breath.

See your last breath, make your last lame joke about how it looks like you're smoking. Thanks for the instructions, Whiteout!