This Week In Actual Movie Taglines

A look at the taglines for this week's major releases. How do studios try to hook us when they only have a sentence?

District 9

Actual Tagline: You are not welcome here.

A subtle, actually intriguing tagline! Well done, Tristar- I sort of want to know more about why I would not be welcome in District 9. My impression is that it’s because I am... an alien?


Actual Taglines: Where there’s a Will, there’s a way. AND Music Has The Power To Rock Your World. AND Band Together

‘Cause that goofy lookin’ dude is named Will, get it? Eh? And I’m glad that Summit Entertainment also let me know that music, can, in fact, rock my world. Here I was relying on tectonic plate shifts and junk, when all I needed was one of the stars of “High School Musical” to get rocking.

And finally, the standard fallback of movie taglines, the lazy pun "band together." Har har.

The Time Traveler’s Wife

Actual Tagline: None?

In some internet places, it seems like people think it’s “If you hang around long enough, you’ll see me disappear,” but there’s nothing official. New Line seems to want to stick with “From the acclaimed bestseller” on the posters, which is definitely better.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

Actual Tagline: They liked Live Hard, Sell Hard so much they just made it part of the title.

Movie subtitles are the ultimate taglines: when star power and hype aren’t enough to get across to people what the movie is about, just describe in in the title. The Goods is clearly about some people selling some stuff. Hard. With a vengeance. Or whatever.

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