This Week (and Last Week) In Actual Movie Taglines

Hey, I was totally sick for a little while there. Double taglines, with lots of countdown catch-up happening these next few days.

Shrek Forever After

Actual tagline: It's ain't ogre... til it's ogre

OR: What the Shrek just happened?

Ugh. Goodbye Shrek, and thanks for all the lame puns! The crowning of How To Train Your Dragon and Kung Fu Panda as Dreamworks' new franchises really make this unwanted, unneccessary "final chapter" seem extra-stale on arrival.

And its arrival means officially that I can't go see Dragon in 3D again- I mean, I cut myself off a few weeks ago, sure, but this whole time I knew it was still there if I needed to go back. Now it's gone, and I have to wait until I can afford one of these crazy HD, 3D television things (and for 3D blu-rays to be invented) until I can experience it again! Dammit, Shrek!


Actual tagline: The Ultimate Tool

I bet that what it says on Will Forte's business cards, too: only rarely do I find him as wacky as I'm supposed to. It's like he's the human equivalent of wAckY CApS- just trying too hard.

I have no desire to see this, nor can I think of a single current recurring SNL-sketch that I'd prefer be made into a film.

Prince Of Persia: The Sands of Time

Actual tagline: Defy the Future

Fun with reverse implications: "Defy the Future, Obey the Past!" What? I love time travel, but something tells me Jerry Bruckheimer doesn't hold it to the same standards I do.

Sex and the City 2

Actual tagline: Carrie On

Yawn. Though the roundly eviscerating reviews have been endlessly entertaining so far. I would just suggest, based on what I've heard, that the title be changed to Marriage, Menopause, Children, and the Arabian Desert.

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