Kinematoscope

Mini reviews of all the 2009 movies I’ve seen so far, in reverse order:

Adventureland



What I Liked: First of all, Adventureland was filmed in Pittsburgh, PA (where I grew up) and parts of the fictional amusement park "Adventureland" were filmed at real-life amusement park Kennywood (where I went growing up and is the awesomest place EVER), so I felt warmly nostalgic already. The movie has a great naturalistic feel to it, a la Dazed And Confused, tracing its central characters while letting the others wander through the fringes (as opposed to presenting them one a time like “Here’s this guy! He’s the wacky dude who always plays the air drums! Yeah!”). And I admired the work of pretty much the whole cast (Eisenberg, Stewart, Staar, Reynolds, you name ‘em. Even Wiig and Hader scaled it back nicely).

What I Didn’t Like: Well, it’s hard to tell any coming of age story ever without treading familiar territory, I guess.

The Verdict: Three Stars- Kennywood! It’s a magic factory where dreams are made!

Duplicity



What I Liked: Clive Owen sort of gets to play the James Bond type he never got cast for, and Julia Roberts didn’t bother me as much as I predicted she would (what? I just don’t buy her as a femme fatale. Sorry). Tom Wilkinson and Paul Giamatti (who gets “and” credit, ooh) have fun as loudmouth CEOs. The plot is reasonably twisty.

What I Didn’t Like: It’s fun and all, but you just spend the entire movie waiting for the big reveal, to see who’s been playing who. And while I can’t say I called all the shots on what would happen, I can’t imagine needing to watch it ever again. Tony Gilroy seemed like an auteur capable of visual restraint with Michael Clayton, but he gets bogged down in Ocean’s style musical scene cues in Duplicity- the movie’s pretty proud of itself for being as inconsequential as it is, you could say.

The Verdict: Two and a Half Stars- what the hell, the dialogue is snappy and the movie passes quickly. I’d just rather see Gilroy get serious again for his next feature.

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I Love You, Man



What I Liked: Paul Rudd, after playing wise-ass supporting parts, nails a sort of over-eager awkwardness endemic to any new friendship. Jason Segel is just awesome in anything. The name “Lou Ferrigno” is always funny to say. Rashida Jones got third billing, good for her.

What I Didn’t Like: Meh. The whole storyline sort of followed a bunch of movie clichés, but with a best friend in place of a girlfriend, as in “Boy meets friend, boy loses friend, boy regains friend.” But there were a surprisingly lack of gay-panic jokes, so kudos.

Verdict: Two And A Half Stars

Watchmen



What I Liked: The opening montage is pretty much awesome. Jackie Earle Haley for Best Supporting Actor? Billy Crudup and Harry Dean Stanton were also well-cast. It was of course fun to see so many panels recreated exactly on the screen, and so many moments (“I’m not locked in here with you…”). The story mostly survived intact, and the new ending didn’t bother me.

What I Didn’t Like: Malin Akerman was a cinematic black hole (in addition to her character getting rewritten into a mental patient). Most of the soundtrack cues were obtrusive and/or ridiculous. Zack Snyder gets WAY too much of a hard-on for limb-snapping violence. Matthew Goode was terribly miscast and Patrick Wilson had little time to be anything other than milquetoast. The love scene. Carla Guigino acting like she was in a Tennessee Williams play. The tenement fire-scene getting way overblown. I could keep going for a while- the thing is, I liked it okay the first time, enough to see it twice, but the second time through the negatives really started to wear on me (more than the positives grew on me).

Verdict: Two Stars- A for effort, but the spirit got lost somewhere. And it’s not because, like Alan Moore, I think it’s impossible to tell Watchmen in movie form. It’s just that Zack Snyder seemed to like Watchmen for its grisly violence and Dan Gibbons’ art (really?) instead of, you know, themes of Cold-War paranoia and psychological complexity, which is why everyone else IN THE WORLD likes it so much.

Coraline (3D)



What I Liked: Uh, how about everything? The 3D added to the story, Dakota Fanning’s voice didn’t drive me up the wall for once, the textures and detail in Selick’s claymation are always indelible. There was a short song by one the They Might Be Giants guys! The father was voiced by John Hodgman and the upstairs neighbor by Ian McShane! After the likeable but not terribly Gaimanish Stardust, Coraline completely nails the source material, departing only to flesh the story to feature length.

What I Didn’t Like: Uh, how about you not going to see it? Seriously, what’s your deal?

Verdict: Four Stars- It’s looking like an honest cage match (or dance-off) between Coraline and Up for the Best Animated Feature statue come Oscar-time.

Taken



What I Liked: Taken doesn’t feel the need to waste time. There’s maybe ten minutes or so of Liam Neeson’s former spook taking some part time work as a security guard and reluctantly agree to let his daughter take a trip to Paris before she’s kidnapped (while on the phone with him OMG) and he sets out to kick ass. And seventy minutes of ass-kicking ensue. What else do you need?

What I Didn’t Like: Uh, not much, really. I didn’t exactly pay (cough) for my ticket (cough) to see Taken, so I have no interest in harping on thin characters and nonsensical Paris law-enforcement logistics. There was ass, it was kicked.

Verdict: Two and Half Stars- delivers exactly what the trailer promises, with an extra half star for Neeson’s admirable badassery.

Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans



What I Liked: Sometimes you just gotta watch things that don’t take themselves too seriously. Or maybe things that take themselves so seriously that it’s funny- I can’t decide which one the Underworld prequel was. A friend of mine wanted to see it to complete the Underworld “trilogy,” so we went, and what I can I say- some werewolves fought some vampires, everybody came out a winner.

What I Didn’t Like: Not having seen the other two films, I figured I be okay since this all happened before those things occurred, but Rise Of The Lycans didn’t expect any non-fans to be interested whatsoever, and thus didn’t really bother explaining the particulars of the vampire/werewolf mythos in its world- thus I spent a good portion of the film asking Jacob annoying questions like “how come those vampire foot soldiers are incapacitated after one blow?” or “Can the werewolves change anytime, or does it have to be a full moon?”

What I Took Away: Respect for Michael Sheen, who was ripping out throats as the head werewolf in front of me while nebbishly interviewing Richard Nixon in the next theater over in Frost/Nixon. That’s an Oscar season juxtaposition nearly on par with Eddie Murphy in Dreamgirls/Norbit.

The Verdict: Two Stars- again, delivers exactly what you expect, not particularly memorable.

All in all, two films with three stars or higher is like a crazy winning streak for this third of the year. Could 2009 be as stacked as '07?

A three part look at the year ahead, now that the Oscar have happened. Today: January to April!



The Only Movie This Year You Should Have Seen Aleady: Coraline

We all know January and February are dead months at the multiplexes. The only film worth your money so far has been Henry Selick’s masterpiece Coraline- it’s like The Nightmare Before Christmas without songs (except for one fun piano tune from one of the They Might Be Giants dudes), but more colorful, technically flawless, and with actual creepy moments.

If you can make it to a 3D showing, it’s well worth the extra $2 to rent the glasses- it’s the first film I’ve seen to use 3D as a way to enhance the storytelling instead of a “aaah! things in your face!” gimmick. Plus, it does a wonderful job of adapting a novella by my favorite author of all time, Neil Gaiman (I’m in a facebook group called “I may or may not be stalking Neil Gaiman.” Seriously, he lives in Wisconsin, too! I could have a sleeping bag outside of his house by tomorrow!).

The Weekend of February 27th: Nothing!

It’s a slow time. You can either go see the Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience, even though it might be a sign of the apocalypse, or Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun Li, because if there’s one film that needed a spin-off/sequel/whatever, it’s the 1994 Jean Claude Van-Damme vehicle Street Fighter.

You know what you should do instead? Rent The Fall!



The Weekend of March 6th: Watchmen

I don’t think, after The Dark Knight’s stigma-busting success, there’s an excuse not to go see what looks to be an as-faithful as possible adaptation of Alan Moore’s graphic novel Watchmen. It’s one of the best 100 works of literature of the last century. There are midnight showings. Get out of your house.

Unless you just don’t like movies. Or violence. Or blue people.

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The Weekend of March 13th: Nothing II: The Quickening!

Seriously, March is a wasteland. Will your life be improved in any way by watching Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the remake of Race To Witch Mountain? Perhaps it will help you realize every moment we spend on this earth is precious, and not to waste a single one.

Or you could see another remake, of Wes Craven’s The Last House On The Left, and learn that humans are nothing but annalistic savages that torture one another in an endless cycle of blood. Or you could read a book, or something.



The Weekend of March 20th: I Love You, Man

There is one reason to see I Love You, Man, and it isn’t the dubious track record of Director John Hamburg and screenwriter Larry Levin- its cast is a veritable comedian highlight reel, lead off by the trio of Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, and Rashida Jones (who I miss on The Office). Small parts by Andy Samberg, Aziz Ansari, Nick Kroll, Joe Lo Truglio, Jane Curtin, and Lou Ferrigno (not a comedian, but come on- Lou Ferrigno!) promise to make it a worthwhile trip.

Let the record show that this weekend Nicolas Continues his war against good movies with Know1ng, and Tony Gilroy follows up Michael Clayton with Duplicity, which I’d be excited about if not for the questionable casting of Julia Roberts as a femme fatale. We’ll see how that one plays out on RT first, thank you.

The Weekend of March 27th: Adventureland

Greg Mottola, fresh off the hit Superbad, decided to go for the mulligan and essentially make it again with his next film. Jesse Eisenberg takes over the Michael Cera nervous guy role as a recent college grad putting his dues in at an amusement park.

Monsters Vs. Aliens might be passable entertainment as well, if only for the 3D novelty and the voice of Seth Rogen as a blue blob.

The Weekend of April 3rd: Nothing With A Vengeance!

Although I bet, if you asked him nicely, Dave would save a seat for you when he lines up for the first screening of Fast & Furious.



The Weekend of April 10th: Observe And Report

Based on the trailer, it looks like Paul Blart: Mall Cop for people with brains. Maybe wait for review, but has Rogen steered us wrong so far?

Alternate options include Hannah Montanna: The Movie (because remember, normal girls are brunettes but rock stars are blondes) and Dragonball: Evolution (or as I like to call it, Speed Racer 2: Electric Boogaloo).

The Weekend of April 17th: Maybe State Of Play?

It looks like it could be good. If you’ve got nothing else going on, give it a shot. Plus there’s Crank 2: High Voltage, which is so Least Common Denominator is almost ironically highbrow.

The Weekend of April 24th: The Soloist

I know, it was delayed, so it must be bad, right? But RDJ in the trailer hooks me, as does that one bit of Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 that you hear everywhere. Or if you like to look at Beyonce without hearing her sing, go see Obsessed, where she tries on her “acting face.”

And so wraps the pre-summer preview. For the record, that’s pretty only one movie I’ll definitely see in theaters (Watchmen). But a few more to catch up on, at least.