Kinematoscope

The economy being what it is (which to say, terrible) and myself being who I am (which is to say, a former English major), I’ve seen disappointingly few movies in theaters this year. Fortunately, that’s kept the quality to quantity ratio of 2009 pretty high. Mini-reviews follow, reverse order again:

The Hangover:



What I Liked: The long-overdue stardom of Zach Galifiankis, and the less overdue but still enjoyable stardom of Ed Helms. Those two, along with generic every dude Bradley Cooper, elevate what pretty much is an hour and a half “What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas” commercial into an enjoyable farce from the director of Old School. It’s telling that my sides hurt not during the ridiculous farce, look-how-Vegasy-this-is moments (A tiger in the bathroom! Que ridiculo!), but during the character moments, like when Helms tells Galifianakis he is “literally too stupid to insult.”

What I Didn’t Like: The “villain,” of the film, such as it is, is an Eddie-Murphy-in-Norbit level Asian stereotype, and there were plenty of other cheap attempts at laughs here and there, but it wasn’t as if I had expected to see Woody Allen type sophisticate humor.

The Verdict: Two And A Half Stars. Maybe I’ll kick in an extra half in hindsight if it elevates Galafianakis, who’s nearly an Andy Kaufman-level comic persona, to bigger and better things.

The Brothers Bloom:



What I Liked: Everything.

Every time Wes Anderson (The Royal Tenenabums, The Darjeeling Limited) releases a movie, critics tend to rouse a chorus of minor variations of the theme “He does the same thing every time!” And while I agree whole-heatedly that yes, he does, I hope he keeps right on doing it. It’s not as if whimsically detached, artfully symmetric pastiche-pieces are clogging the screens at the Majestic every week. And if more filmmakers dive headfirst into the Anderson indie-twee style of filmmaking (like Rian Johnson with his sophomore film The Brothers Bloom), then it will still be a long time before I start complaining.

On the heels of his new cult classic Brick, Johnson got the funding for a beautifully shot ode to con men and European intrigue, and brought the same raw energy to a twisting, bantering screenplay for stars Mark Ruffalo, Adrien Brody, and Rachel Weisz to work with. The plot might get a little too cutesy for some near the end (mostly leaving us guessing whether or not people have been shot), but The Brothers Bloom is too much fun to ask questions, and too well-made to get mad at.

All that and a great, rambling score had me waltzing out of the theater.

What I Didn’t Like: There were two songs in the movie that weren’t on the soundtrack I downloaded from Amazon? Seriously, the combination of Rian Johnson’s raw enthusiasm for film with an Andersonian (Andersonish?) sensibility hit all the right notes for me.

The Verdict: Four Stars, and one derby hat slickly rolled onto my head. Watch the first seven minutes of it here, and then tell me you don’t want to catch it at the Downer Theater before it’s gone.

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Star Trek:



What I Liked: Again, pretty much everything. As a casual fan of the original series, and only a fan-in-general of later incarnations (except for Star Trek: Voyager, which premiered whilst I was in middle school and I briefly thought was the BEST SHOW EVER), I was more than ready for J. J. Abrams to re-imagine the Star Trek universe, unlike some older critics more tied to the past, perhaps.

ST reminded me a great deal of Pirates Of The Carribean: Curse Of The Black Pearl in the way it seemingly effortlessly accomplished the introduction of several characters, incorporated several different action set pieces, maintained a break-neck pace, and kept the audience laughing or oohing and aahing at all the right points. The cast was largely spot on, although that depends on your attachment to certain characters since they were all different levels of homage to each original portrayal- they ran the gamut from Karl Urban’s absolutely spot-on (and scene stealing) Bones, to John Cho’s largely businesslike Sulu.

Without getting too much into the plot, the writers also explained the reason for a new look at Star Trek in a way that not only made sense, but provided an excuse to include Leonard Nimoy.

What I Didn’t Like: The film’s villain, Eric Bana’s Nero, was reasonably well-done, but I was left wishing that the Enterprise might get involved in more than a conflict with a very traditional Star Trek trope: the lone despot with a powerful ship. Doesn’t the Federation function as a galactic peace-keeping organization?

I suppose that might be best left for some other series, however. But what would it be called? “Star Galactic Peace Keeping Operations?” I feel like it’s on the tip of my tongue.

The Verdict: Four Stars! I’ve seen fewer movies, but rarely do I find three of my year end top ten (probably) before it’s half over (Bloom, ST, and Coraline, if you’re counting with me).

The Soloist:



What I Liked: Robert Downey, Jr. as a journalist at the end of his rope, delivers another quietly solid performance, opposite Jamey Foxx’s more obviously dramatic schizophrenic homeless cellist. I enjoyed the script, at least in the way that it patiently depicts a friendship that falters as often as it grows, and doesn’t overdo any redemptive element- Foxx’s character never has any sort of Hallmark life-turnaround, nor does Downey reconnect with his ex-wife.

Joe Wright continues to develop as a visual filmmaker, abandoning the sweeping tracking shots of Atonement for grittier montages of Los Angeles street-life: The Soloist is about the plight of the homeless and mentally handicapped as much as it is about music. I also loved a scene mid-way through the film when Foxx hears an orchestra rehearse- he closes his eyes and Wright brings us on a journey with him, punctuating each crescendo of the music with bright visual flares on a blank screen. It might qualify as an indulgent touch, but I’m a fan of the orchestra (I’m even a sucking for the cool “warming up” noise) so it worked well.

What I Didn’t Like: Despite admiring the unhurried way the plot moved, The Soloist could have been paced a bit better- it makes the most of it’s nearly two-hour runtime. The minor subplots (the ex-wife, the animal urine (?) Downey orders to protect his garden from scavengers) weighed it down, and the brief looks at Foxx’s childhood and subsequent unraveling were more voyeuristic than they were necessary.

The Verdict: Two And A Half Stars. It might have been higher if there were more Bach and less Beethoven. Personal preference, sorry.

State Of Play:



What I Liked: A passably fun thriller about evil corporations, idealistic reporters, and possibly corrupt politicians. Russel Crowe was gravelly, Helen Mirren was a fun mean-spirited editor. Jason Bateman had a fun cameo. The plot twisted and turned.

What I Didn’t Like: Not to say that it was predictable, but it certainly felt rather familiar. In fact, the only unique part of the film was the most overblown and hackneyed- a constant emphasis on the death rattle of print journalism and how sad that is. Rachel McAdams plays the young reporter who runs the newspaper’s blog, and just doesn’t get how things should be done, Crowe uses an ancient DOS-based black-screened thing, and the film ends with a big story being printed, step by step, on an industrial printing press and delivered to newsstands. I get it. End of an era. Yawn.

The Verdict: Two Stars. Kept me watching, didn’t go anywhere unexpected, could’ve taken itself a little less seriously.

Observe And Report:



What I Liked: There’s a certain amount of downright insane edginess you just sort of have to admire, in that you wonder how they got film studio’s to agree to fund it. I’m sure it mostly had to do with Seth Rogen’s still rising star, and he does an admirably believable job as a suburbanized Taxi Driver-style psychotic mall cop.

What I Didn’t Like: With that edginess always seems to come a pervasive distaste for every character in the film, or at least that’s what we’re left with. Even cameos from some of my favorite comedy stars (like Patton Oswalt!) usually are for little purpose other than to act awful and expect laughter. And even though the abrasive wackiness gets laughs, it’s nice to have a straight man here and there.

The Verdict: Two Stars. Seemed a little too proud of itself for being risqué, with lots of musical montages and slow motion, but honestly the trailer sold that sensibility pretty well.

So as you may have heard, yesterday the Oscars (or AMPAS, if you prefer) announced the decision to increase the field of Best Picture nominations from five to ten.

With various reactions around the internet (Spout always does a great job rounding up the consensus), I find myself mostly liking the idea. Why, you ask? Let’s make a list.

1. Nothing Should Get Skipped Over Now, Finally

Right?

Some years we’re lucky enough to get well more than five films that deserve inclusion, but usually we only see three of them make it, while the rest get skipped over for whatever the studios have politicked into the field (like The Reader last year, or Juno the year before).

Now, theoretically, nothing should be relegated to the perennial sixth contender.

2. The Ratings For The Telecast Could Improve

Everyone seems to think this move is in response to the outrage over The Dark Knight’s snub last year, but honestly anyone who was really mad about it was probably the type of person who still watched the Oscars anyway (like I was, and did).

I would bet that this is more of an inclusive way to cast a wider net for the telecast- if they were worried about just certain films getting overlooked, they could have gone with six or seven nominations, or made the number conditional on some sort of voting rubric (both of which make more sense than randomly doubling the total).

But by increasing it to ten, AMPAS is more or less guaranteeing that a random moviegoer will have seen at least one of them.

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3. It Doesn’t Really “Dilute The Prestige” Of A Nomination

Just saying. Actual films nominated for Best Picture since 1990: Ghost, The Godfather Part III, Scent Of A Woman, Four Weddings And A Funeral, Babe, Jerry Maguire, American Beauty, The Sixth Sense, In The Bedroom, The Hours, Seabiscuit, Ray, Sideways, Crash, Little Miss Sunshine, Juno, and The Reader.

Now, clearly this is all my opinion, but not one of those screams “Best Picture” to me, even though they’re pretty good (except Crash and The Godfather Part III, which are awful by all accounts).

If you insist on thinking that a nomination is now half as noteworthy, then at least undeserving nominees are only half as egregious. Those who have the free time already decide which of the five nominees are also-rans as soon as the field is announced, now they just have five more to add to that list.

4. It Makes Me More Excited For This Year’s Oscars

Hey, it’s the first time since Casablanca that this has happened! At least it’s novel. Plus, with no frontrunner at this early stage, it’s fun to imagine the possibilities. As many speculate, this seems to push things like Star Trek and Up into the “likely contenders” category, instead of crowd pleasers that would certainly have been neglected.

Now I have to completely revise my likely Best Picture nominees list, which has just been in my head until now. For fun, here it is after yesterday, in no particular order:

Invictus (Eastwood film about Nelson Mandela)
The Informant (Soderbergh film starring Matt Damon)
Shutter Island (Scorsese film starring Leonardo DiCaprio)
The Road (Pulitzer-winning book made Viggo Mortensen movie)
Biutiful (Javier Bardem starrer from the director of Babel)
Star Trek
Up
Broken Embraces (Almodovar/Penelope Cruz collaboration du jour)
Brothers (Jake Gylenhaal vehicle from the director of In America)
Avatar (James Cameron’s new Sci Fi epic).

And I had to actually look things up to think of ten! That’s the crazy part. This is to say nothing of films that I am iffy about (for BP, anyway) that become contenders if the reviews are good, like Public Enemies, The Time Traveler’s Wife, The Lovely Bones, Nine (the musical, not the CGI rag-doll apocalypse thing)- and even the crazy longshot odds for Where The Wild Things Are must’ve just doubled.

So you’ve got a tentative thumbs up from me, Academy, but I was already gonna watch anyway. Hopefully such a major move makes you less afraid to overhaul categories that need it even more, like Original Song, Original Score, and Foreign Film.

My only real “aw” thought is how sad it is for the entire field in 2007, the only year that I’ve been following this stuff that could’ve sustained ten real nominees. You had the Academy’s five, which included two masterpieces (No Country For Old Men, There Will Be Blood), one near-masterpiece (Atonement), an awesome throwback thriller (Michael Clayton) and the fun but happy-to-be-there Juno. But it was such a great year that it would have been nice to add The Diving Bell And The Butterfly, Sweeney Todd, Zodiac, Away From Her, and something actually popular like The Bourne Ultimatum or Ratatouille.

Classic horror today, as we take a look at the 1931 version of Frankenstein, loosely based on the book by “Mrs. Percy Shelly” as the credits refer to her. A film so terrifying it was banned in Kansas, and starts with a gravely serious (or tongue in cheek?) warning to the audience that it may be horrifying or disturbing, it’s certainly a film we all know pretty well without even seeing it.

The Key Players:

Our director is a studio hand named James Whale, mostly associated with horror staples thanks to this, The Invisible Man, and The Bride Of Frankenstein- but he also directed the definitive film version of the musical Show Boat.

Boris Karloff is the name most associated with this Frankenstein, mostly for his lumbering, grunting performance, as well as the hype surrounding his casting. It was rumored that Bela Lugosi would take the role, and Universal decided to withhold the announcement of who was actually chosen, as well as keeping photos of the monster under wraps until the film opens. In fact, the credits at the beginning even say “The Monster… ?” This allowed Karloff to launch a long and storied career, but he remains most beloved for wearing bolts on his neck and going “Raaah!” (plus narrating the How The Grinch Stole Christmas animated special).

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Colin Clive is mostly forgotten for performing perhaps the most iconic “mad scientist” type in cinema, or at least the earliest. Mae Clarke’s career highlights include this role as the mad doctor’s fiancée, a role in The Front Page (hey!), and getting a grapefruit to the face from James Cagney, oddly. Finally, Dwight Frye had the creepy assistant market cornered back in the day, playing Fritz in this film AND Renfield in Dracula the same year.



The Story:

We open with Dr. Frankenstein (Clive) and his hunchbacked, manic-eyed assistant Fritz (Frye) waiting for a funeral to finish so they can hurriedly dig up the body. On the way back to the lab (which is not explicitly in a castle, but definitely a large stone building of some kind) they cut down a hanged convict for some more spare parts.

Then Fritz sneaks into the university lap where Frankenstien had been on staff until recently to steal a brain, and in a scene that was more or less unchanged in Young Frankenstein, accidentally drops one labeled “normal brain” and takes one labeled “criminal brain” instead. I had always assumed they were making that up, but no. Just grabs the criminal one and figures it’ll be no problem.

Then Frankenstein’s fiancée Elizabeth (Clarke), his friend Victor, and his mentor Dr. Waldman show up to ask after his health, since he’d been getting pretty reclusive and mad-scientisty recently. He reluctantly lets them into the lab to witness to big lightshow- in a famous scene, he raises the assembled body from various dead parts to the roof during a lightning storm, and lightning crashes while various Tesla devices makes sparks. The creation moves its hand, prompting the famous “It’s alive!”

The next day we finally meet the monster, lumbering slowly around the lab, and seemingly able to understand basic commands. He’s affable enough until Fritz comes in with a torch and he flips out- not understanding why, they chain him in the cellar for fear of attack. Fritz goes down there to torment him with the torch again (because Fritz is kind of a dick), but the monster kills him in a rage and breaks from his bonds.

Frankenstein and Dr. Waldman manage to subdue the monster with drugs, and wearily Frankenstein agrees to let Waldman keep it sedated to be autopsied, and returns to his father’s house to finally plan for his wedding…

The Artisticness:

What struck me about Frankenstein is that it’s mostly done without a soundtrack- there’s music over the opening and closing credits, but all other sounds are diagetic- this includes the nonstop clamor of bells during the wedding day celebrations, which turn into the constant clamor of voices during mob scenes. So the second half of the movie is sonically busy, but just with no score.

The performances were able, if affably thirties and overblown. Karloff doesn’t really have much to do, but he does imbue a certain tenderness to the monster, frightened of flame but fascinated by sunlight.

THE ENDING! LUMBERING SPOILERS!

The monster, of course, wakes up and strangles Waldman before he can take a knife to it. Then he escapes and famously meets a little girl- they float flowers in the water until there aren’t any left, and he tosses the little girl in to see if she floats. Unfortunately she doesn’t, although precisely how she ends up drowning is hastily edited around and not very clear. The monster then breaks into the estate and terrorizes Elizabeth, who screams and faints. It’s only a matter of time before the angry crowd of torches and pitchforks forms, led by Dr. Frankenstein himself, to hunt the monster down.

In the pursuit, the monster knocks his creator out and carries him to a windmill, where they engage in a final struggle before the doctor falls of the top, barely surviving the fall. The angry villagers burn the windmill, the monster dying inside.

Then we get a random comic scene in which father Frankenstein helps himself to some wine the servants were brining his recuperating son

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Overall: Should It Be Higher, Lower?

Can’t say I was very impressed- it seemed to drag in a lot of places for such a short film. But I certainly appreciated all of the horror touchstones that this film created, from the visualization of the monster to Clive’s madcap performance. Let’s say it’s just right on the outer fringes of the 200s.

The Legacy:

Well, there’s the entirety of Young Frankenstein, every green makeup depiction of the monster ever- perhaps no movie eclipses the source material as much as this one (maybe The Wizard Of Oz?)- Shelley’s monster actually learned to speak perfect English reading Paradise Lost, and was a monster by conscious reaction to his creation and imprisonment.

I guess Herman Munster could talk, though. In any case, Frankenstein was popular enough to spawn an entire line of sequels (The Bride Of, The Son Of, The Ghost Of, and Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein) and was selected for NFR preservation and so on.

The Best Video Of It On YouTube:

It’s alive! IT’S ALIVE!!!



Leftover Thoughts:

This was apparently Johnny Cash’s favorite film.

I wonder how relatively frightening this movie was when it came out. I personally can’t think of any incarnation of the monster I’ve ever found frightening- it’s just like slow zombies. More funny than scary.

Adventures in Actual Movie Taglines: To have seen it is to wear a badge of courage!

Hey, champ. Life got ya down? Feel like one is the loneliest number you could ever do? Then take a morose, twisting ride with me through Paul Thomas Anderson’s 1999 Magnolia. Watch out for plot-centered coincidences, life’s inherent misery, and spontaneous Aimee Mann sing alongs.

And frogs. Mind the frogs.

The Key Players:

P. T. Anderson, as he likes to be known, will be appearing on my seemingly life-spanning countdown at least one more time (There Will Be Blood), and perhaps more (since he’ll finish a film or two before I finish this project). An Oscar nominated director and writer, he’s well on his way to a Kubrickian reputation for deliberate pacing and sophisticated wide-angle shots- though he seems to care a lot more about people than Kubrick ever did, if that makes any sense.

The cast is a large ensemble that most notably includes Tom Cruise, who was nominated for Best Supporting Actor, but also features the talents of Anderson regulars like Julianne Moore, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, John C. Reilly, Luis Guzman, and of course Filliam H. Muffman.

Not enough? There are cameos by Alfred Molina, Patton Oswalt, Ricky Jay, Thomas Jane (barely), and there are cranky old dudes like Jason Robards and Phillip Baker Hall.

Plus, and I can’t stress this enough, a metric ton of frogs.

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The Story:

Magnolia opens with three brief stories of odd coincidences- a man is murdered near Greenberry Hill by three men named Green, Berry, and Hill. A man assaults a blackjack dealer, then two days later accidentally scoops up the same dealer in a water tank to be dumped on a forest fire, killing the man and later committing suicide in shock and guilt. A young man loads the rifle his parents threaten each other with when they fight, then six days later jumps off the roof- there’s a net to catch him, but the rifle accidentally discharges right as he passes his own window, and his parents are charged with his death (with himself listed as an accomplice).

So these three very specific coincidences set the theme: random coincidental things can happen, and then you die. Things featured among the myriad plotlines in Magnolia: two old men dying of terminal illnesses and full of regret, past molestation, getting struck by lightning, neglectful parents, crippling loneliness, rampant misogynism, unrequited love, car crashes, and suicide attempts.

To briefly sketch it out, with the connections in tow: Robards plays a television magnate on his deathbed, desperately miserable about abandoning his first wife and son. His current trophy wife (Moore), who had married him for his money, actually grew to care about him and turns to pills out of guilt over past infidelity. His live-in nurse (Hoffman), having grown attached to the old man, tries desperately to get in contact with his estranged son (Cruise), who’s become a sleazy self-help guru for men with issues that want the ‘secret’ to scoring chicks. Meanwhile, one of Robards’ shows is taping- What Do Kids Know? a Quiz Show style thing that pits a team of precocious brainiacs against adult guests- the main, erudite kid that normally answers all the questions wets his pants during the taping of the show and loses his cool, leading to confrontations with his exploitative father. The host of the show (Hall) is secretly dying of cancer, and trying to reconcile with his coke-head daughter (Melora Walters), who goes on an awkward date with an idealistic but cloddish policeman (Reilly) who loses his own gun and is so lonely he narrates his own COPS style show to no one at all.

Uh, that’s mostly it? No wait- Macy plays an adult former quiz kid champion whose life is in financial shambles, who wants to get braces to be just like a hunky bartender named Brad he’s in love with but rarely speaks to.

The Artisticness:

Suffice to say, Magnolia needs a lot of time to get it’s plot all together, even though it takes place over one night. A large part of the film’s inspiration comes from the work of Aimee Mann- her cover of Harry Nilsson's “One” plays over the credits- multiple original songs punctuate key moments throughout the rest, including a scene in which everybody breaks character for one somber moment and SINGS part of “Wise Up.” As well as the Oscar-nominated “Save Me” accompanying the film’s final scene.

I was struck, watching it again, the relatively breathless pace of the film- after the initial rush to introduce everyone it slows down a little, but only enough to get to the next crisis. I like the theme of interconnectivity, but I didn’t really see why we need three very extreme examples of it to tie in to the lives of a dozen or so loosely connected people. Perhaps the coincidence is that they all have a crisis in their lives on the same night.

THE ENDING! SPOILERS THAT REALLY HAPPEN!

Well- Cruise goes to see Robards, though he despises him, and has an Oscary scene yelling and crying at him. Moore attempts suicide but a passing boy calls 911. Macy tries to rob his former employer, but changes his mind and goes back to return the money. Hall admits to his wife that he may have molested their daughter, she leaves him, and he tries the suicide route as well, with a gun. Reilly and Walters’ date goes reasonably well for two messed up people, but she kisses him and runs away.

And then frogs fall from the sky. Thousands of them. Yeah. This leads to Macy falling off a telephone pole and smashing his teeth, but Reilly is passing by and helps him. Walters’ mother crashes her car but makes it to her daughter’s apartment, where they are reunited. Robards dies and Cruise goes to help Moore in the hospital. A frog falling through the skylight hits Hall’s hand as he pulls the trigger, but his house does light on fire- his fate is unknown. Everyone else just looks out at the falling frogs in wonder, as the disgraced whiz kid from the game declares “This happens. This is something that happens.” (you know, in case you were wondering). Right as the frogs end, Reilly’s lost gun falls from the sky as well (?), and he later goes back to Walters and declares his intention to be good to her and honest as “Save Me” plays us out. Curtains.

END SPOILERS


Overall: Should It Be Higher, Lower?

I was definitely underwhelmed the first time I saw Magnolia, but with repeat viewings (and seeing PTA’s other work), I really admire it as a piece of singular vision and storytelling. Even if the particular ‘point’ of such a story is unclear, I enjoy it each time- it’s dense enough to be more that just a “miserable things happening to miserable people” movie, which nine times out of ten puts me off.

So much as I love frogs (and dislike even fictional mass weather-pattern frog genocide), I’m saying higher (just as saying that Punch Drunk Love and Boogie Nights should really be on this countdown. Oh well.)

The Legacy:

People certainly seemed to think, at the time, that this would be the role for Tom Cruise that Pulp Fiction was for John Travolta, but his career has taken a few more turns in the decade since.

With all due respect to Robert Altman, Magnolia’s certainly my default reference for the interconnected style of storytelling, if only it explicitly states that that interconnectivity is the point (Tarantino films are also a good benchmark- Crash? No.).

The Best Video Of It On YouTube:

You know what? I bet the whole sing along thing (where according to Janet Maslin of the NYT Magnolia “begins to self-destruct spectacularly”) works better out of context:



It did put me off the first time, but I’ve since gotten way more into Aimee Mann.

Leftover Thoughts:

-My least favorite parts of the film: 1. The producers of a game show featuring kids that’s been running for THIRTY YEARS not knowing what to do when a kid wets his pants. 2. Jason Robards’ long, interminably monologue about regret and life and stuff that’s surely very meaningful and important, but he’s the only character that doesn’t get time to earn any sympathy.

-Frogs raining from the sky DOES really happen, but everything I read on the interblags maintains that its much smaller frogs and would not likely happen in North America.

-Exodus 8:2 is about a plague of frogs, and the number 82 recurs in the film a half dozen times. Make of that what you will- I’m not too up on the Bible, so I prefer to not try and make connections I don’t mind not looking for (the show Kings on NBC is fantastic without any references). Still, I’ll put the Bible on my “to read” shelf on that facebook app sometime.

-Magnolia is one of many films scored by Jon Brion, my favorite film composer ever.

-This film is pretty light on magnolias, and flowers on the whole.

And now, after falling asleep during the middle four or five times and having to try again (what? It’s very long), it’s time for 1960’s Spartacus. It has something for everyone- romance, blood, epic battles, political machinations, and crucifixions. Exciting, right? If you have three hours and sixteen minutes to spare, grab a copy and follow along at home!

The Key Players:

Our director is a 30-year-old Stanley Kubrick- after churning out more accessible studio fare for most of the 50’s (most notably Paths Of Glory), Kubrick was brought on to replace Anthony Mann after star and producer Kirk Douglas didn’t like the cut of his jib. This would be Kubrick’s last, reportedly frustrating attempt to cowtow to the demands of a producing studio before embarking upon his twiceish-a-decade schedule of creating masterpieces with complete creative control. This is the first of a whopping EIGHT Kubrick films that we’ll be chit-chatting about on the countdown.

Douglas, meanwhile, has come a long way from his first countdown appearance. Legend has it that he decided to finance Spartacus himself after being passed over for Ben-Hur, in favor of Charlton Heston. A thrice-Oscar-nominated screen legend, Douglas played everything from a brooding Vincent Van Gogh (Lust For Life) to the plucky comic relief in a Disney film (20,000 Leagues Under The Sea) to our titular hero.

Laurence Olivier, one of the Greatest Actors of the Twentieth Century (or so they say), with fourteen Oscar nominations, two wins (for directing 1948’s Hamlet, and a best actor statue for taking his own direction so well), and two honorary little gold men to boot. With twice as many credits on the stage as on screen, he was generally regarded as the foremost authority on interpretations of his homeboy Shakespeare.

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The epic cast is rounded out by all-stars of the day, including Jean Simmons, Charles Laughton, Tony Curtis, and Peter Ustinov (who inexplicably, to this reviewer at least, won Best Supporting Actor for playing a hapless slave trader in this film, becoming the only actor in a Kubrick feature to win one).



The Story:

Spartacus (Douglas), a Thracian slave, is working in some Libyan mines at the film’s beginning. We see him stop to help an older slave that’s fallen, so naturally he’s whipped- but he’s got spirit, this one, and he ends up biting a guard in the leg. (A Roman guard. This is set in that part when the Roman Empire was sort of listlessly controlling everything with just the senate, not an emperor).

Anyway, he gets sold to Batiatus (Ustinov), who takes him to his camp that trains gladiators, where he generally does a whole bunch of silent brooding while I realize how many parts of Ridley Scott’s Gladiator were cribbed directly from this film. Eventually, a rich, powerful Roman senator named Crassus (Olivier) and his friend Glabrus stop by for a visit, and their wives are bored so they choose some gladiators to fight to the death and entertain them- naturally our stoic hero is among them. Spartacus actually loses his battle, but his opponent flips out and tries unsuccessfully to kill Crassus instead of finishing him off.

Now, this whole time Spartacus has been making gaga-eyes at a woman slave named Varinia (Simmons), even holding her hand when she came round to give him some soup. Aw. But when he sees her being taken away since she’s been sold to Crassus, he flips out, kills the head trainer, and the other gladiators join in and overthrow Batiatus’s entire estate. Now there’s an army of trained gladiators looting the countryside and living it up around Vesuvius. Oops.

The scene shifts to Rome, where Crassus’s main political rival, Gracchus (Laughton), manipulates things to get his buddy Caesar (hey, I know that guy!) in temporary command of the Roman Garrison, while Crassus’s teammate Glabrus leads six cohorts to stomp out Spartacus and co. Crassus is pissed about these developments, and also his favorite new boy slave Antonius (Curtis) has escaped, right when he was talking all menacingly yet seductively to him. What’s a crazy warlord to do?

Glabrus, it turns out, is not so up to snuff- the slave army destroys the entire six cohorts, burns their camp, and sends him back tied to a horse. Spartacus, after not talking for the entire first hour of the film, convinces the entire slave army that they need to organize, free and recruit other slaves, and bribe Sicilian Pirates into taking them out of Italy back to their homelands. Also, Varinia’s escaped from Batiatus and the lovers (who’ve hardly actually spoken to one another, really) are happily reunited.

If only the movie ended there…

The Artisticness:

Did I mention before that this movie is long? Always a curse and a blessing for Kubrick, his films are deliberately paced, which certainly gave Olivier and company plenty of time to flesh characters out, but makes for a long movie, especially when we all kind of know how the slave rebellion is going to end- maybe not specifically, but we’re pretty sure they don’t destroy Rome or anything.

The sets and battle-scenes are certainly pretty impressive for the time- this is even after an entire host of battle-footage was cut out of the finished film because it didn’t test well with audiences.

Douglas’s curious and resolved Spartacus is an all right hero, but you kind of wish he had some sort of flaw to round him out (this was apparently also a source of friction between Kubrick and Douglas as well). I loved Olivier’s Crassus, and I sort of found the Roman senate more intriguing than the war aspects.
And the “I am Spartacus!” scene- yeah, it worked for me. Call me a sap.

THE ENDING! THESE ARE SPOILERS! NO, THESE ARE SPOILERS!

Where were we? Oh yeah, the slave army, having grown, destroys an entire legion and makes it to one day’s journey from the very end of Italy- but the Sicilian Pirates have been bought off by Crassus, and they have no where to go, with large armies converging on them from the east and the south.

Spartacus sees that the only viable option is to march on Rome itself, which is exactly what Crassus wants, since the Senate has to basically hand him a dictatorship to get him to lead his legions in defense of the city. It all ends in a big, epic showdown with giant flaming logs rolling down hills and lots of people getting stabbed. The battle’s kind of even until those other two armies show up, and the slaves lose.

Then, of course, the survivors are rounded up and told that they will be allowed to live and sold back into slavery if they just turn over Spartacus to be crucified. But they all claim to be Spartacus. So they ALL GET CRUCIFIED. Wow. Way to go.

Also Crassus buys and tries to woo Varinia because he’s sort of got a Spartacus complex now. Plus he forces Antonius (who had joined the slave army and taught them about poetry and stuff) and Spartacus (who he’s pretty sure is Spartacus, but still is frustratingly unsure about) to fight to the death. Since the winner will be painfully crucified, they both try earnestly to kill the other and spare them, but Spartacus of course “wins.”

Finally Varinia, freed by Gracchus to spite Crassus gets to travel with Batiatus (who’s now anti-Crassus because he had been promised the right to auction off the slave army survivors who instead got crucified) and she gets to see nearly dead Spartacus (and show him his son) on her way out of Rome.

END SPOILERS


Overall: Should It Be Higher, Lower?

Whoo. What a downer. Personally, I still haven’t seen Ben-Hur or Gone With The Wind or many other historical epic type things, so Spartacus is pretty impressive to me as a technical achievement, and the cast is winning enough to stick out the run-time. So, higher-ish.

The Legacy:

Well, it’s somehow the only Golden Globe Best Picture, Drama winner to not be nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars, but it won four of ‘em anyway (Ustinov, Art Direction, Costumes, and Cinematography).

Plus the famous scene gets parodied all the time, including a soullessly annoying Pepsi commercial from 2005. Please see a whole list of parodies and homages here (but be warned, TV tropes is a hellish time-vortex that will destroy your brain).

The Best Video Of It On YouTube:

Whole thing starting here (it had to be split into 18 parts!), or you know, the Scene of Scenes:



I bet a lot of dudes in Hollywood at the time said they were extras in that scene. “You know that eighth dude that’s all like ‘I’m Spartacus!’? That was me.”

Leftover Thoughts:

-It’s not as prevalent as his later work, but you can still see Kubrick being Kubrick from time to time in the film. Like when Spartacus drowns his trainer in a giant pot of soup, we get to watch the entire 45 seconds of it in one long take.

-Oh yeah, this is the verbatim voice-over narration that opens the film: “In the last century before the birth of the new faith called Christianity, which was destined to overthrow the pagan tyranny of Rome and bring about a new society…” ‘Cause we all know Christianity turned out to be infallibly awesome, at all times.

We interrupt regular programming to bring you a trailer, a trailer that made my jaw hang in slack astonishment due to sheer awesomeness.

To review, what kind of films do I love? One: science fiction films. Two: films that star Sam Rockwell. Three: films with a great score. Four: films that look artfully done that were well received at Sundance.

What I told you there was a film starring Sam Rockwell about a man all alone on a mining base on the moon, scored by Clint Mansell (of Requiem For A Dream fame) that basically looks like Primer but with a bigger budget and better acting?

I mean, not only does it star Sam Rockwell, his name is BEFORE the title! That's how much it stars Sam Rockwell. I just, I can't even begin to, OMG just watch the trailer:



Other things that are awesome: There is a robot with the voice of Kevin Spacey. Yeah. Sam Rockwell mysteriously finds a duplicate of himself- THERE ARE TWO SAM ROCKWELLS. Visually, it looks a lot like the movie Sunshine but with the moon instead of the sun, and I loved Sunshine visually. It is directed by a first-time director named Duncan Jones, which is the name of a dude I met two weeks ago and also my first name. Sam Rockwell's character is named Sam.

I think I might watch this trailer a flobbity-jillion more times. Moon will be in limited theaters on June 12th (and probably in Milwaukee in July or something, although if you don't think I'd drive to Chicago to see it sooner than that you're clearly a fictional person who didn't just read the above hyperventilating with awesomeness).

That is all.

Mini reviews of all the 2009 movies I’ve seen so far, in reverse order:

Adventureland



What I Liked: First of all, Adventureland was filmed in Pittsburgh, PA (where I grew up) and parts of the fictional amusement park "Adventureland" were filmed at real-life amusement park Kennywood (where I went growing up and is the awesomest place EVER), so I felt warmly nostalgic already. The movie has a great naturalistic feel to it, a la Dazed And Confused, tracing its central characters while letting the others wander through the fringes (as opposed to presenting them one a time like “Here’s this guy! He’s the wacky dude who always plays the air drums! Yeah!”). And I admired the work of pretty much the whole cast (Eisenberg, Stewart, Staar, Reynolds, you name ‘em. Even Wiig and Hader scaled it back nicely).

What I Didn’t Like: Well, it’s hard to tell any coming of age story ever without treading familiar territory, I guess.

The Verdict: Three Stars- Kennywood! It’s a magic factory where dreams are made!

Duplicity



What I Liked: Clive Owen sort of gets to play the James Bond type he never got cast for, and Julia Roberts didn’t bother me as much as I predicted she would (what? I just don’t buy her as a femme fatale. Sorry). Tom Wilkinson and Paul Giamatti (who gets “and” credit, ooh) have fun as loudmouth CEOs. The plot is reasonably twisty.

What I Didn’t Like: It’s fun and all, but you just spend the entire movie waiting for the big reveal, to see who’s been playing who. And while I can’t say I called all the shots on what would happen, I can’t imagine needing to watch it ever again. Tony Gilroy seemed like an auteur capable of visual restraint with Michael Clayton, but he gets bogged down in Ocean’s style musical scene cues in Duplicity- the movie’s pretty proud of itself for being as inconsequential as it is, you could say.

The Verdict: Two and a Half Stars- what the hell, the dialogue is snappy and the movie passes quickly. I’d just rather see Gilroy get serious again for his next feature.

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I Love You, Man



What I Liked: Paul Rudd, after playing wise-ass supporting parts, nails a sort of over-eager awkwardness endemic to any new friendship. Jason Segel is just awesome in anything. The name “Lou Ferrigno” is always funny to say. Rashida Jones got third billing, good for her.

What I Didn’t Like: Meh. The whole storyline sort of followed a bunch of movie clichés, but with a best friend in place of a girlfriend, as in “Boy meets friend, boy loses friend, boy regains friend.” But there were a surprisingly lack of gay-panic jokes, so kudos.

Verdict: Two And A Half Stars

Watchmen



What I Liked: The opening montage is pretty much awesome. Jackie Earle Haley for Best Supporting Actor? Billy Crudup and Harry Dean Stanton were also well-cast. It was of course fun to see so many panels recreated exactly on the screen, and so many moments (“I’m not locked in here with you…”). The story mostly survived intact, and the new ending didn’t bother me.

What I Didn’t Like: Malin Akerman was a cinematic black hole (in addition to her character getting rewritten into a mental patient). Most of the soundtrack cues were obtrusive and/or ridiculous. Zack Snyder gets WAY too much of a hard-on for limb-snapping violence. Matthew Goode was terribly miscast and Patrick Wilson had little time to be anything other than milquetoast. The love scene. Carla Guigino acting like she was in a Tennessee Williams play. The tenement fire-scene getting way overblown. I could keep going for a while- the thing is, I liked it okay the first time, enough to see it twice, but the second time through the negatives really started to wear on me (more than the positives grew on me).

Verdict: Two Stars- A for effort, but the spirit got lost somewhere. And it’s not because, like Alan Moore, I think it’s impossible to tell Watchmen in movie form. It’s just that Zack Snyder seemed to like Watchmen for its grisly violence and Dan Gibbons’ art (really?) instead of, you know, themes of Cold-War paranoia and psychological complexity, which is why everyone else IN THE WORLD likes it so much.

Coraline (3D)



What I Liked: Uh, how about everything? The 3D added to the story, Dakota Fanning’s voice didn’t drive me up the wall for once, the textures and detail in Selick’s claymation are always indelible. There was a short song by one the They Might Be Giants guys! The father was voiced by John Hodgman and the upstairs neighbor by Ian McShane! After the likeable but not terribly Gaimanish Stardust, Coraline completely nails the source material, departing only to flesh the story to feature length.

What I Didn’t Like: Uh, how about you not going to see it? Seriously, what’s your deal?

Verdict: Four Stars- It’s looking like an honest cage match (or dance-off) between Coraline and Up for the Best Animated Feature statue come Oscar-time.

Taken



What I Liked: Taken doesn’t feel the need to waste time. There’s maybe ten minutes or so of Liam Neeson’s former spook taking some part time work as a security guard and reluctantly agree to let his daughter take a trip to Paris before she’s kidnapped (while on the phone with him OMG) and he sets out to kick ass. And seventy minutes of ass-kicking ensue. What else do you need?

What I Didn’t Like: Uh, not much, really. I didn’t exactly pay (cough) for my ticket (cough) to see Taken, so I have no interest in harping on thin characters and nonsensical Paris law-enforcement logistics. There was ass, it was kicked.

Verdict: Two and Half Stars- delivers exactly what the trailer promises, with an extra half star for Neeson’s admirable badassery.

Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans



What I Liked: Sometimes you just gotta watch things that don’t take themselves too seriously. Or maybe things that take themselves so seriously that it’s funny- I can’t decide which one the Underworld prequel was. A friend of mine wanted to see it to complete the Underworld “trilogy,” so we went, and what I can I say- some werewolves fought some vampires, everybody came out a winner.

What I Didn’t Like: Not having seen the other two films, I figured I be okay since this all happened before those things occurred, but Rise Of The Lycans didn’t expect any non-fans to be interested whatsoever, and thus didn’t really bother explaining the particulars of the vampire/werewolf mythos in its world- thus I spent a good portion of the film asking Jacob annoying questions like “how come those vampire foot soldiers are incapacitated after one blow?” or “Can the werewolves change anytime, or does it have to be a full moon?”

What I Took Away: Respect for Michael Sheen, who was ripping out throats as the head werewolf in front of me while nebbishly interviewing Richard Nixon in the next theater over in Frost/Nixon. That’s an Oscar season juxtaposition nearly on par with Eddie Murphy in Dreamgirls/Norbit.

The Verdict: Two Stars- again, delivers exactly what you expect, not particularly memorable.

All in all, two films with three stars or higher is like a crazy winning streak for this third of the year. Could 2009 be as stacked as '07?

Hey there, people. Do you ever feel like life is too slow? That people around you should just knock it off with the carefully considered responses and the staring at the Wendy’s menu like zombies and just keep up with you already?

Then you’ll love His Girl Friday, the crackling, rapid-fire, rollicking screwball masterpiece that I was looking for on this countdown all along. I thought, given my propensity for the dialogue of Aaron Sorkin, that the tradition had been sort of talked-up as quicker than it actually was- maybe it was just relatively fast for people’s attention spans back then. And after enjoying movies that were reasonably snappy like Arsenic And Old Lace and The Philadelphia Story, I was beginning to believe that was true.

But His Girl Friday is a solid 92 minutes of breathless banter, and reinforces something we’ve learned once already: don’t divorce Cary Grant, because he will always trick you into remarrying him.

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The Key Players:

Howard Hawks, director of Bringing Up Baby and Scarface (1932 version, yo), pioneered the naturalistic style of dialogue we all love so much today. He’s like Tarantino’s grandfater, essentially. Hawks only received one Oscar nomination (for directing Sergeant York), but did get an honorary statuette in 1975.

Cary Grant. You know him.

Rosalind Russell was cast after some eight other actresses had turned down the role (including Katherine Hepburn, Claudette Colbert, and Ginger Rogers). A four-time Oscar nominee (and Hersholt Humanitarian recipient), five time Golden Globe winner, and Tony Award winner, it’s impossible to imagine anyone else in her most famous role.



The Story:

Grant plays Walter Burns, a newspaper editor whose ex-wife and best reporter Hildy Johnson (Russell) has stopped by to inform him she’s quitting to marry some sheepish nice guy (yeah, that’ll last). But mayhem ensues when a murderer about to be hanged escapes, leading to a whole madcap situation in which corrupt politicians are exposed, Hildy’s fiancee gets arrested several times in comical scenarios, and old feelings are re-ignited.

Is the plot terribly important? No. But here’s some quotes:

-“I like him; he's got a lot of charm.” 
“Well he comes by it naturally- his grandfather was a snake.

-“Who, me?“
“Yes, you and that albino of yours!” 
“You talkin' about Evangeline?” 
“None other!” 
“She ain't no albino.” 
“She'll do 'till one comes along!” 
“She was born right here in this country!”

-“Hey, Duffy, listen. Is there any way we can stop the 4:00 train to Albany from leaving town?” 
“… we might dynamite it. 
“Could we?” 

The Artisticness:

Aaaand more quotes:

-“ Well, Albany's a mighty good insurance town. Most people there take it out pretty early in life.“
“Yeah, well I can see why they would.”
“I figure I'm in one business that really helps people. Of course, we don't help you much while you're alive, but afterward - that's what counts!”

“No, no, never mind the Chinese earthquake for heaven's sake...Look, I don't care if there's a million dead...No, no, junk the Polish Corridor...Take all those Miss America pictures off Page Six...Take Hitler and stick him on the funny page...No, no, leave the rooster story alone - that's human interest.”

THE ENDING! THE SNAPPIEST SPOILERS THAT EVER SPOILED IN SPOILTOWN!

Guess what? They get the big story, and get back together. Who’dve thunk it?

Once again, gender roles are pretty antiquated- it’s good to know that if I want to win an ex back the day before she gets married, I might stand a chance if I set up her fiancee to get arrested three separate times. (Also not helping? Whoever decided to make the tagline “She learned about men from him!” What the hell is that?)

END SPOILERS


Overall: Should It Be Higher, Lower?

Well, I loved it, and I’m super stoked to watch Bringing Up Baby sometime (though it is not awaiting us on the 250, alas). Higher!

The Legacy:

Well, despite being an adaptation of a stage play itself, His Girl Friday was later adapted for the stage, in addition to the usual AFI list inclusion and so forth. I can’t say I recognized many lines from out there in the pop culture ether (unlike say, watching Casablanca for the first time), but that’s probably because they fly by too quickly, and they speak over one another so much.

The Best Video Of It On YouTube

Well, forget YouTube for once! You can watch the entire thing on hulu.com here. Hulu is pretty awesome.

Leftover Thoughts:

Interestingly (at least to me, because I used to have a job in a copyright setting) His Girl Friday’s copyright wasn’t renewed and has fallen into the public domain, but the play it was based on (1928’s The Front Page) is copyrighted until 2024. This means the only things really PD are the portions of the film not based on the original play, which is to say most of the Grant/Russell stuff about having been married and all (since in the play “Hildy” was, you know, a guy). There was also a straight-up adaptation of the play with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau directed by Billy Wilder in 1974 that will not be appearing on this countdown.

Hey, sorry for the delay here at Kinematoscope. You see, I’m writing a novel. But since you can only write 33,000 words before your mind starts to implode, apparently, I’m coming back here to move us one further in the countdown.

Today, 2003’s Big Fish, a movie I saw most of in theaters at the time (I showed up late). Questions which may or may not be answered in this post- will Billy Crudup ever be more than a “Hey It’s That Guy!” level actor? Is it possible for Tim Burton to be predictably sanitary? Speaking of Tim Burton, does Helena Bonham Carter really need to be cast in everything he does? At a certain point, you have to think she’s taking other people’s jobs away.

Big Fish is a test case in a lot of ways, for your patience for storytellers of a certain variety (spoiler- I love it, but I’m a storyteller, see: novel-writing aspirations). Are you more likely to roll your eyes or crinkle them in a smile at tall tales, or does it depend on the company? Keep reading to see what I mean.

The Key Players:

Tim Burton, whimsical director of rock star level name recognition (and rock star hair, for that matter), has given us plenty of modern cult and critical favorites, many of them starring Johnny Depp (Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Corpse Bride, Sweeney Todd) and many of them starring people that aren’t Johnny Depp (Batman, Batman Returns, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, Beetlejuice, Mars Attacks!, and Big Fish). The only Tim Burton film I’ve ever been disappointed by is his regrettably scatterbrained remake of Planet Of The Apes, especially now that I’ve seen the original.

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Billy Crudup stars, one of my favorite actors, and a dedicated chameleon along the lines of your Christian Bales of the world, just waiting to break into the bigtime. He pops up in the oddest roles and the oddest places, and it wasn’t until watching Big Fish I realized I love him in each one: he voices a character in Princess Monoke, perhaps my faovrite Miyazaki anime, he disappears into the role of a Shakespearian era transvestite actor in Stage Beauty, and he plays a tempermental rocker to perfection in Almost Famous. He might finally be a name that lots of people know with roles in two potential blockbusters this year- Watchmen (as the blue guy) and Public Enemies (as J. Edgar Hoover, another transvestite).

Albert Finney and Ewan McGregor play different parts of the role that’s the soul of the film. Finney has lost an Oscar five separate times, most recently for Erin Brockovich, and always brings the same deep voice and sleepy gravitas to his roles. McGregor is of course the biggest star present, and has split his career nearly equally between beloved artful projects (like Danny Boyle’s Trainspotting, or Moulin Rouge) and behemoth crowd pleasers (The Star Wars prequels, or the upcoming Angels & Demons).

The story is rounded out by a loaded cast, including Jessica Lange, Bonham Carter, Steve Buscemi, Alison Lohman, Marion Cotillard, Danny Devito and even the guy that played Isaac on Sports Night (and the dude that played Roy on The Office). How’s that for a key players list? Probably the most crowded one ever.



The Story:

Crudup plays a man who’s father (Finney) is dying. He goes home to be with him, but spends the entire film wondering who his father really is, and trying to reconcile the fantastic stories that Finney tells with who the real man might be.

We then spend most of Big Fish flashing back to Finney’s version of his life story, in which he’s portrayed by a child actor and then McGregor and navigates a colorful world of witches, giants, werewolves, conjoined twins mixed with elements of his actually biography, like his son’s birth and his time at war in Korea.

The story within the story is remarkably complete for something that’s presented as a collection of anecdotes his father tells, but the point is that Finney has repeated them over and over until they form one tale, a nearly cyclical life story that he’s nearing the end of. But will father and son find the peace they’ve been missing?

The Artisticness:

Big Fish isn’t terribly subtle about telegraphing the question of where the storyteller ends and the story begins. But since that’s a theme that pretty obviously appeals to me anyway, I’m more than willing to let the Hallmark movie sort of antagnism between Finney and Crudup slide, especially the second time through.

If anything, the only problem I would list with Big Fish’s fantasy sequences is that they seem almost… affably familiar. It’s somewhat a product of the nature of Finney’s character, but the fairy tales are all a mixture of unique moments like the titular motif of fish that can appear like people in the moonlight and worn through elements of every other story ever.

But that’s not a big deal when the tales are told with McGregor’s winning bravado, or in Finney’s bass tone. My favorite story told is one that’s not even depicted: in one scene Crudup leading up to a point, says: “You know about icebergs, dad?” and Finney jumps in: “Do I? I saw an iceberg once. They were hauling it down to Texas for drinking water. They didn't count on there being an elephant frozen inside. The wooly kind. A mammoth.”

The visuals are much more colorful and bright a palette than you’d expect from Tim Burton, to be honest, but that doesn’t mean the film isn’t fun to watch. It’s just sunnier than say, Sweeney Todd, or even his update of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, surprisingly.

THE ENDING! I ONCE SAW A SPOILER THAT WAS SO LARGE IN BREADTH AND COMPLEXITY THAT IT SPOILED THE ENDING TO THE ENTIRE TIME 100 BEST WORKS OF LITERATURE LIST!

The end, for some reason, seemed contrived when I watched it the first time, but hits me the more I watch it. Finney stubbornly refuses to admit that he’s telling anything but the truth, and Crudup discovers that not every element of his father’s biography is fabricated.

All along, Finney has claimed to know exactly what the moment of his death will be (claiming to have seen it in the eye of a witch as a child). But Finney has a stroke, and it’s up to his son, sitting as his bedside in the hospital, to tell him what it will be like, and in an abrupt reversal of character he emotionally tells Finney that he’s going to rush him to the river, and amidst a joyous send-off from all of the story’s members on the riverbank, he’ll drop him into the river where he’ll become a big fish, since he was always a big fish in a small pond.

Now, thirty seconds before this scene, Crudup’s character had finally heard the real, boring story of the night of his birth (Finney’s had involved fighting a giant catfish to get his wedding ring back), and declared that he liked the real life story better, even if it’s less interesting. So I still don’t really buy it.

But ultimately, I’d rather see the storyteller stubbornly win over the pragmatist anyway, so I like the ending with each repeat viewing. Plus, that’s how I’d wanna go, too.

END SPOILERS



Overall: Should It Be Higher, Lower?

Higher for me- I think that’s clear. I’m a firm believer in movies as escapism, and there’s no greater escapism than fairy tales.

The Legacy:

Let’s see: Danny Elfman’s original score garnered the lone Oscar nomination-I didn’t really take note of it, to be honest, but that’s probably because Elfman & Burton are like peanut butter & jelly at this point- still delicious, but it doesn’t occur to you to even think of different ingredients. The film and Finney also received Golden Globe nominations in the “Musical Or Comedy” categories, along with Elfman and an original song by Eddie Vedder.

Critical reception was largely positive- we’ll see how it ages. Most people I talk to seem to like it, but not love it in a crazy way. I almost think that if it wasn’t directed by a man known mostly for much more grandiose and specifically bizarre fantasies (maybe if earlier attached directors had stayed on, like Steven Spielberg or Stephen Daldry), that Big Fish would be more of a cult favorite than it is.

The Best Video Of It On YouTube:

After years of putting up a cynical, jokey front of wiseassery, I'm coming close to asking my friends for their reaction to my novel manuscript which is nothing but earnest romanticism (but in a dystopian future of sorts) in a lot of ways. So with nothing left to hide, let's go with when McGregor sees the girl of his dreams (Lohman) and time itself freezes:



Leftover Thoughts:

I also have a mini-collection of American folklore for a novel I want to write someday. So the odds were stacked in Big Fish’s favor from the start.

Guy that played Roy in The Office (David Denman) also plays a douchey boyfriend in Big Fish. I hope he doesn’t keep getting typecast.

Google Image searching for the poster and a still of the movie inadvertently confirmed that catfish can get that big, apparently. And that Reel Big Fish is still together, even though ska is dead.

A three part look at the year ahead, now that the Oscar have happened. Today: January to April!



The Only Movie This Year You Should Have Seen Aleady: Coraline

We all know January and February are dead months at the multiplexes. The only film worth your money so far has been Henry Selick’s masterpiece Coraline- it’s like The Nightmare Before Christmas without songs (except for one fun piano tune from one of the They Might Be Giants dudes), but more colorful, technically flawless, and with actual creepy moments.

If you can make it to a 3D showing, it’s well worth the extra $2 to rent the glasses- it’s the first film I’ve seen to use 3D as a way to enhance the storytelling instead of a “aaah! things in your face!” gimmick. Plus, it does a wonderful job of adapting a novella by my favorite author of all time, Neil Gaiman (I’m in a facebook group called “I may or may not be stalking Neil Gaiman.” Seriously, he lives in Wisconsin, too! I could have a sleeping bag outside of his house by tomorrow!).

The Weekend of February 27th: Nothing!

It’s a slow time. You can either go see the Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience, even though it might be a sign of the apocalypse, or Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun Li, because if there’s one film that needed a spin-off/sequel/whatever, it’s the 1994 Jean Claude Van-Damme vehicle Street Fighter.

You know what you should do instead? Rent The Fall!



The Weekend of March 6th: Watchmen

I don’t think, after The Dark Knight’s stigma-busting success, there’s an excuse not to go see what looks to be an as-faithful as possible adaptation of Alan Moore’s graphic novel Watchmen. It’s one of the best 100 works of literature of the last century. There are midnight showings. Get out of your house.

Unless you just don’t like movies. Or violence. Or blue people.

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The Weekend of March 13th: Nothing II: The Quickening!

Seriously, March is a wasteland. Will your life be improved in any way by watching Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the remake of Race To Witch Mountain? Perhaps it will help you realize every moment we spend on this earth is precious, and not to waste a single one.

Or you could see another remake, of Wes Craven’s The Last House On The Left, and learn that humans are nothing but annalistic savages that torture one another in an endless cycle of blood. Or you could read a book, or something.



The Weekend of March 20th: I Love You, Man

There is one reason to see I Love You, Man, and it isn’t the dubious track record of Director John Hamburg and screenwriter Larry Levin- its cast is a veritable comedian highlight reel, lead off by the trio of Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, and Rashida Jones (who I miss on The Office). Small parts by Andy Samberg, Aziz Ansari, Nick Kroll, Joe Lo Truglio, Jane Curtin, and Lou Ferrigno (not a comedian, but come on- Lou Ferrigno!) promise to make it a worthwhile trip.

Let the record show that this weekend Nicolas Continues his war against good movies with Know1ng, and Tony Gilroy follows up Michael Clayton with Duplicity, which I’d be excited about if not for the questionable casting of Julia Roberts as a femme fatale. We’ll see how that one plays out on RT first, thank you.

The Weekend of March 27th: Adventureland

Greg Mottola, fresh off the hit Superbad, decided to go for the mulligan and essentially make it again with his next film. Jesse Eisenberg takes over the Michael Cera nervous guy role as a recent college grad putting his dues in at an amusement park.

Monsters Vs. Aliens might be passable entertainment as well, if only for the 3D novelty and the voice of Seth Rogen as a blue blob.

The Weekend of April 3rd: Nothing With A Vengeance!

Although I bet, if you asked him nicely, Dave would save a seat for you when he lines up for the first screening of Fast & Furious.



The Weekend of April 10th: Observe And Report

Based on the trailer, it looks like Paul Blart: Mall Cop for people with brains. Maybe wait for review, but has Rogen steered us wrong so far?

Alternate options include Hannah Montanna: The Movie (because remember, normal girls are brunettes but rock stars are blondes) and Dragonball: Evolution (or as I like to call it, Speed Racer 2: Electric Boogaloo).

The Weekend of April 17th: Maybe State Of Play?

It looks like it could be good. If you’ve got nothing else going on, give it a shot. Plus there’s Crank 2: High Voltage, which is so Least Common Denominator is almost ironically highbrow.

The Weekend of April 24th: The Soloist

I know, it was delayed, so it must be bad, right? But RDJ in the trailer hooks me, as does that one bit of Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 that you hear everywhere. Or if you like to look at Beyonce without hearing her sing, go see Obsessed, where she tries on her “acting face.”

And so wraps the pre-summer preview. For the record, that’s pretty only one movie I’ll definitely see in theaters (Watchmen). But a few more to catch up on, at least.