Kinematoscope

Yeah, so I took a break. It happens. Now, the final two weeks of July in movie-slogan land! Coming soon, an All-Of-August tagline extravaganza!

Actual tagline: A Little Sister Goes A Long Way.

I spent many fruitless minutes trying to google this, but isn't the phrase "A little _____ goes a long way" rooted in cooking? Am I just making that up?

If I'm right, it makes this not-bad play on words a little unsettling.




Actual tagline: Who is Salt?

This tagline's simple question is entirely derailed by, y'know, the common household condiment and simple compound that we all know and love. The other taglines for the film simply personify it in less existential fashion: Salt Kills (this is true, kids, watch your sodium-intake levels). Don't Trust Salt. Okay, noted. Salt Must Die. That's too bad. We still have pepper, I guess. But wait- Salt Will Not Be Stopped. We're all doomed! We'll be shriveled to death like slugs!

More...

Dinner For Schmucks

Actual tagline: Takes One To Know One.

Meh. At least it doesn't try to get across the semi-high-concept premise in one sentence, since it really doesn't matter all that much. But to me, there seems to be an entire brand of comedy encapsulated by baring your front teeth like Carell in the poster there that I disdain entirely.

Also just in case you might be tempted to see this because Steve Carell and Paul Rudd can actually be funny, the poster reminds us that it "From the director of Meet The Parents." Nice save, poster.

Charlie St. Cloud

Actual tagline: Life is for living

A cheeseball slogan for a seemingly cheeseball movie, shocking NOT based on a Nicholas Sparks novel.

But wait- just so you know, Wikipedia clunkily can SPOIL the fact that this is actually a film about Zac Effron seeing ghosts (and ghosts of people that are just mostly dead as well), though it is still very terrible I'm sure. Still, seeing dead people is more of a catch than just a dude being repressed. I wonder why none of the advertising even alluded to it?

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

Actual tagline: Just like real spies... only furrier.

Remember this? No? It's already in the imdb bottom 100, but at least Jack McBrayer got some spending money.